Should i be providing a shoulder to cry on? perhaps! should 1 member of the ‘TEAM’ make another cry?? not on my watch!!

i feel there may be a teaching gap with the designers ware they are not tought how a production team should be dealt with/spoken to/addressed/treated/worked with to their ability/respected for THEIR job, i do think its a minor thing BUT a very important part!! maybe im speaking out of turn here, but hey who is gonna bother reading my babble on about it!

Im in my second show this term ‘sleeping beauty’ and i still feel unsupported in my studies, yes i get it, im a profetional in training, im doing the job of a profetional, i have to flourish on my own through reflective practise, BUT what if i want to get the education my friends and family TAX is paying for through SAAS, what if i want to be tought how to do a risk assessment.

I don’t like the look of opera but fuck i like the look of a professional Stage Management mentor to help and aid me through my first big show TOO LATE i’m on to my second already this year.

I want support i want positive thinking i want compassion. All these things i can get from family and friends if i can fit them into a 12-13 hour a day schedule, is it so much to ask for a hug once in a while or a chance to see my mum or to socialize with friends!

I went to Stirling to visit one of my best friends on Friday and couldn’t bare the thought of coming back to Glasgow, so i didn’t, i came back on Monday! i called in sick! i wasn’t sick! this is unnatural behavior for me! I don’t know what is happening, having a lecturer who wants to change his career and no tutor support is disheartening!

this is all very negative I KNOW, but i am feeling negative, and i have the right as a human to be negative, my weekend in Stirling cheered me up no end and i saw some very good friends, only to come back!

why did i not want to give it a chance?

a first impresion counts in my head, and this wasnt a good one, after speaking to john he seemed uneay about trying to get me changed so at the end of the day i thought i would just stick it out and see what would happen.  i spend the day on a set on the wednesday of the week and it was really good, i realised so much….now what i am about to say is entirely NOT personal and NO-ONE should take offense this is mearly my observations.  the role of a first ad, is as i believe to keep control of the room and start the technical team for every take, i.e. sound recording and camera.  i am presuming all the student 1st’s are different i mean of coarse they are but today i felt the was a lack of room control, and as a stage manager that is almost essential to be good at! so there one thing that crosses over and has potential to be an improvement.  straight away i notice that a clip board for this particular 1st would have been very beneficial as the director for this scene was extremely unorganized and not ready the 1st was in a corner scribbling notes on her knee most of the morning, which i think made the room control disappear or infact never appear and her presence unknown.

do i think i could do this job?

i think i defiantly have the skills to do the 1st ad job but my only problem is asking people to do thing i don’t no what they mean, this is a massive pet hate i have of people in general, so therefor i wouldn’t want to do something i don’t like others doing?  so to try and overcome this i have been doing a little bit of research on line about the different departments.  and hopefull will have the confidence when it some to it 

ROLL SOUND, speed

ROLL CAMERA, speed

SOMETHING ELSE, aye ready hen!!

good luck me